Remember
by Fei Xue
Summary: Tara and Willow after "Tabula Rasa" Sarah Mclachlan angsty goodness


Remember  
  
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon.  
  
Summary: Tara and Willow at the end of "Tabula Rasa".  
  
Rating: G  
  
I will remember you.  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for memories  
  
Tara looked up at the second story of the Summers' house where their room had been, a dim light glowing through the frost covered window. Willow was awake. At this ungodly hour, she did not know why nor did she care. She was just glad she was awake.  
  
It was bitterly cold at 5 am, and her breath was appearing in the frigidness in small white clouds escaping from her mouth as she sighed. The morning dew was dampening her hair, chilling her body but she was numb to what was around her.  
  
Tara stared into Willow's room.  
  
Remember the good times that we had?  
  
I let them slip away from us when things got bad  
  
How clearly I first saw you smiling in the sun  
  
Wanna feel your warmth around me  
  
I wanna be the one  
  
Willow woke up in a cold sweat, her body sheened in her exhaustion. It was one of her nightmares again, when it was totally black and all the light there was happened to be coming from something buried deep inside of her. And then all of a sudden it would vanish, gone into oblivion.  
  
It would happen everynight and everynight she would wake up in a wreck. She reached over to her nightstand and turned on the lights, absently before burying her face in her hands. Her fight against her dark majick obsession was growing harder and harder everyday and it seemed that her supports would fall and everything would come crashing down. She wished with all her heart that Tara would come back and help ease the burden. If only she could see her again...  
  
I will remember you.  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for memories  
  
I wonder how I'm still here...Tara wondered silently. She stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets, smiling softly. Sure, she was sad...naw, depressed was more like it. But of course part of the feelings were converted to something more easy to carry: anger. Not anger as in fury, no...no, not at Willow. Never for Willow.  
  
I'm so tired but I can't sleep   
  
Standing on the edge of something much too deep  
  
It's funny how we can feel so much but cannot say a word  
  
We're screaming inside, but we cannot be heard  
  
Letting everybody down...how could you Willow? How could you do this to us? Is Dawn angry at you like I am too? Is Buffy disgusted? Is Xander afraid? I'm sure you feel our emotions surge up against you, you fight it everyday along with the dark powers. You are a witch after all. I am a witch too. And then again I can too feel when you're feeling. Such a cost of our channeling of powers. You're angry...at yourself, you're dead inside, aren't you Willow? You're dead without me. And as much as I would want to go back to you, I cannot. You need to fight this on your own, Willow. This is yours, not mine.  
  
But I will remember you  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for memories  
  
Willow sighed in frustration, lazily lifting her covers to cool herself. Lately she had been weak, guarding her energy so that none leaked out. She dragged herself to the edge of the bed and it was then she felt it. The same familiar comfort she hadn't felt in what it seemed, years. The same energy pattern, and the same control. Tara. As fast as she could, without stumbling, she was at the window. Wrenching the draped open, she looked out to see Tara standing on the sidewalk, gazing straight at her.  
  
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose  
  
Clinging to the past that doesn't let me choose  
  
Once there was darkness, deep and endless night  
  
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light  
  
Tara! She pressed her palms against the glass that seperated them. She longed to pry open the window and scream for her to come baack, for forgiveness, and to say that she loved her. She always would love her. Not like Oz, no, true love. Something held her back from opening the window, what was it? Every fiber in her body wanted the window open, but it didn't happen. Tara wanted the window shut and shut it will remain.  
  
And I will remember you  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for memories  
  
They gazed at each other and silently...without anything but love...everything that had not been resolved was settled. Every question, understood. Every thought, assured. They would love each other till the rest of their days if not longer. Tara would leave, Willow would stay. And yet it was also known that it was over. As quickly as it came, it was gone. Like wind upon the plains. Tara smiled lovingly at her first and ownly beloved. And Willow smiled back, knowing she would fight this...for Tara wished it so. They would part ways but their souls, hearts, minds belonged to each other for eternity. Let's hold on to what we have, and what we had shared, our memories.  
  
And so Tara said goodbye, turned around and walked away from Willow's life. And Willow...she would wait. Wait for her Tara to come back.  
  
And I will remember you  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for memories  
  
Weep not for memories  
  
Never forget, Willow. Never forget. 


End file.
